Looking For Home
by Sparkle731
Summary: Hutch goes on a journey to finally bring home his missing partner. Trust me, this is not a death story and it does have a happy ending. A revised version of Chapter 15 has been posted. Story is complete.
1. Chapter 1

**LOOKING FOR HOME**

**Hutch goes on a journey to finally bring home his missing partner. Trust me, this is ****not**** a death story and it does have a happy ending.**

**A/N: This story was inspired by the story **_**Finally Coming Home**_** by Jan in Va. If you haven't read this story, I strongly encourage you to do so. It can be found at the Bay City Library. **

**Chapter One**

Captain Kenneth Hutchinson glanced around his office one last time to make sure that everything was in order. In a few minutes he would leaving on a long overdue journey. A journey to finally bring home his missing partner, Detective Sergeant First Class David Michael Starsky.

For the past eight and half years, there been a void in Hutch's life. A void left by the disappearance of his partner and best friend. Although there had been evidence that Starsky had been forcibly abducted from his apartment, no trace of the missing man had ever been found. Hutch had almost gone crazy trying to find him but eventually, even he had given up hope. As the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and then the months turned into years, Hutch had been forced to accept the fact that his partner was gone and he would never see him again.

For Hutch, the pain had been almost unbearable. He had crawled into a bottle and came dangerously close to losing himself in an alcoholic haze. It was only through the support and love of his closest friends that he had been able to pull himself together again.

Unable to face going back on the streets without Starsky at his side, Hutch had been encouraged by his commanding officer, Captain Harold Dobey, to take the Lieutenant's exam so he could advance in the department. Now, he held the rank of Captain and had taken Dobey's place as the commanding officer of the robbery/homicide division at Metro. But, he had never forgotten Starsky and he had never given up hope of someday finding his body and finally bringing him home.

Two days ago, the answer to his prayer had been answered in a totally unexpected way. He had received a call from Warden Thomas at San Quentin Prison who had notified him of the death of an inmate named John McFarland. He had urged Hutch to make the hour and half drive to the prison, stressing that he had something of great importance to tell him concerning the deceased prisoner.

Upon his arrival at the prison, the warden had given him an envelope with his name on the front that had been found in McFarland's personal effects. It was addressed to Captain Kenneth Hutchinson, but it looked as if the word Captain had been written over something else that had been written and then erased, obviously more than once.

The warden had explained that the envelope had been unsealed when it was discovered and that a note inside had instructed that the second envelope inside be delivered to Hutch. Curious, Hutch had taken the envelope and asked to be left alone for a few minutes while he examined the contents.

His hand was shaking when he removed the second envelope and immediately recognized Starsky's scrawl. Inside, he had found a note from Starsky. A goodbye note that his captors had allowed him to write before his death at their hands. Tears were running freely down Hutch's face as he unfolded the piece of paper that accompanied the letter. Directions. Detailed directions on where to find Starsky's body after all these years.

Hutch had left the warden's office and drove back to Bay City in a daze. When he returned to his office, he had immediately contacted his superiors and informed them of the new information he had uncovered in Starsky's case. In a murder case, especially one that involves a police officer, the case is never officially closed even if it does go cold. Hutch had been granted a leave of absence from his duties so he could be the one to bring back Starsky's body. For the past two days, Hutch had been making arrangements for his trip and his absence from the department. He kept the letter Starsky had written in his pocket, close to his heart. David Starsky was finally coming home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Hutch took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he unlocked the two car garage that adjoined his two bedroom house on the beach. Hutch had bought the beach house two years ago after his promotion to Captain. The solitude of the area suited him. Since Starsky's death, he had become more withdrawn, spending most of his off duty time alone. He had never married or known the joys of fatherhood. His life as he had known it had ended when Starsky had disappeared. He had devoted himself to his work. It was the only thing he had left that mattered anymore.

As he opened the door to the garage, he caught his breath at the familiar sight of the car that was parked inside. A Ford Gran Tornio. It's gleaming surface was painted a candy apple red and a distinctive foot wide white stripe ran across the roof just in front of the rear window, then down both sides, where it ran along each side of the car to the front, tapering to a point. The car had been Starsky's pride and joy. When Starsky disappeared, Hutch had not been able to get rid of it. It had meant too much to his partner. He had stored at a friend's garage until he bought this house, then he had brought it here where it had been sitting ever since.

Although it had not been driven since Starsky disappeared, Hutch had made sure that it was well maintained and kept in perfect running condition. Somehow, it seemed fitting that Hutch use it now to bring his partner home. Using his own key, he unlocked the door and slid underneath the wheel, breathing in the familiar scent of the leather seats.

He closed his eyes for a moment, picturing Starsky sitting in the seat beside him once more.

He blinked away the tears that had gathered in his eyes as he turned the key in the ignition. The powerful engine roared to life, settling into a comforting rumble beneath the hood. Choking back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, Hutch slowly backed the car out of the garage.

Hutch drove away from the beach house and headed for the freeway. According to the directions, he had a long drive ahead of him. It would take him approximately six hours, not counting any stops for gas or food, to reach the Arizona desert where the directions had indicated that he would find Starsky's body. He knew that after so many years, there wouldn't be much left but bones. And he might not even find that much. The note hadn't said if Starsky had been buried or not. If the body had been left in the open, then it was a safe assumption that wildlife had disturbed the remains. There was also the possibility that someone in the area had discovered the body. Hutch's first stop as soon as he reached his destination would be local police department.

It was a gray, overcast day with storm clouds gathering on the horizon. It was if the weather was a reflection of Hutch's mood. Hutch had been on the road for two hours when the promised storm arrived. Sheets of rain fell heavily and bolts of lightening lit up the darkened sky, forcing Hutch to slow his speed. Spotting a sign for a truck stop at the next exit, he decided to stop for a bite to eat while he waited out the worst of the storm.

Pulling into the parking lot, he opened the door and tugged his leather jacket up around his neck against the chill of the rain as he ran towards the combination truck stop and motel. A tiny bell above the door dinged as he darted inside, pausing momentarily to shake some of the rain from his clothing.

Since it was after two in the afternoon, the diner only had a few customers. A couple of truckers sat at the counter and a family with three children sat in one of the booths. Hutch chose one of the empty booths at the rear of the room and took the seat facing the entrance. A middle aged waitress with dyed red hair and heavy makeup walked over to his table.

"What can I get you, handsome?" she drawled in a southern accent with a warm smile. Even though he was in his early fifties, Hutch was still a handsome man. He wasn't as trim as he used to be but he was still in good shape with a muscular build. The lines around his eyes and his mouth only added character to his face and his thinning blond hair was neatly trimmed and styled.

"I'll take a cup of coffee. Black." Hutch told her "And a chef salad with ranch dressing on the side."

"Is that it?"

"Give me a grilled cheese sandwich too." Hutch told her, the tone of his voice curtly dismissing her. Hutch had always tried to eat healthy and exercise regularly. It was Starsky that could eat all the junk food he wanted and still stay in shape without much effort. Ironically, it was Hutch who had developed high blood pressure over the years along with arthritis in his left knee from an old injury when he had been trapped under his car for almost three days before Starsky found him.

Hutch stared out the window, lost in his own thoughts, while he waited for his order. It was still raining heavily and he smiled faintly as he remembered how much Starsky had hated it when it rained. Starsky had always hated getting wet and cold. He sighed heavily. This trip seemed to be bringing up memories he had tried desperately to bury deep within his sub-conscious over the years. Memories that were too painful. He suddenly felt every one of his fifty-two years weighing heavily on his shoulders.

The waitress brought his food and coffee, sitting it down on the table in front of him with a suggestive smile. When Hutch ignored her subtle attempts at flirting, she frowned and walked away with an exaggerated sway of her ample hips.

Hutch ate his food and drank his coffee in silence. The rain was starting to let up by the time he finished. He stood up and dug some bills out of his pocket, tossing them on the table along with a suitable tip for the waitress. After a brief stop in the men's room, he continued on his journey.

It was after eight in the evening when he finally crossed the Arizona state line. He still had at least a two hour drive ahead of him before he finally reached the outskirts of Holbrook, Arizona. That was the closest town to where Starsky's body was supposed to have been left in the Painted Desert. Hutch didn't know much about that particular region of Arizona except that it stretched over 160 miles. Much of the area was in the Petrified Forest National Park and was considered protected. Much of it was also located inside the Navajo nation and, therefore, was on Navajo land.

Finally, shortly before eleven pm, Hutch pulled into the parking lot of a small motel just outside of Holbrook. Grabbing his overnight bag, Hutch carefully locked the Torino and walked into the tiny office to register and get a room. Since he didn't know how long he would be in town, he rented the room for three days. If he needed to be here longer than that, he would extend his stay. It had been a long drive and he was exhausted. He needed to rest before he continued his search.

The motel room was identical to thousands of others like it around the country. The furnishings were cheap and the carpet on the floor was threadbare but at least it was clean. A tiny television sat on a dresser facing the single bed that stood in the middle of the room. The bed was covered with a faded patchwork quilt that looked handmade.

Locking the door, Hutch walked into the tiny adjoining bathroom and stripped off his clothes, letting them fall carelessly to the floor. Reaching into the shower stall, he turned on the water, adjusting the spray to a comfortable temperature. He pointedly ignored the mirror above the sink. He knew if he looked in it, he would see the face of a stranger staring back at him.

Stepping beneath the spray of water, Hutch leaned his hands against the wall of the shower stall and stood there with his head bowed, letting the water wash over his tired, cramped muscles. Hidden tears mingled with the drops of water that dripped from the hair that hung in his face. His shoulders began shaking with silent sobs, tears of grief mixed with tears of relief that his nightmare was finally drawing to a close and that he might finally find some peace with the past.

With a deep, shuddering breath, Hutch reached out to turn off the water and climbed out of the shower, grabbing the threadbare towel hanging on the rod. He dried off briskly and walked back into the other room. Without bothering to dress, he threw himself down across the bed. As his eyes drifted shut, he whispered "I'm here, buddy…I'm here."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

The ringing of the telephone beside the bed startled Hutch awake. As he fumbled for the receiver, he vaguely remembered leaving a wake up call at the front desk for seven-thirty.

"Yeah?" he mumbled in a sleep roughened voice.

"This is the wake up call you requested, sir." A cheerful lilting voice said in his ear.

"Yes, thank you." Hutch said, hanging up the receiver and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He shoved himself to his feet and stretched to work out the kinks in his shoulders and back. His muscles ached from spending a night in an unfamiliar bed. Stifling a cough, he rummaged through his bag for some clean clothes. Once he was dressed, he left the room, stopping at the office just long enough to get directions to the local police department.

Holbrook wasn't a very big town. The population was only roughly around 5,000 people. Driving into town was like taking a step back in time. It reminded Hutch of the pictures he had seen of old frontier towns with many of the historic buildings still intact.

Some of the buildings still had old hitching posts and water troughs on the street in front of them. Several of the pedestrians walking down the sidewalks appeared to be of Indian descent, not unusual since this was part of the Navajo nation.

Hutch found the Police Station without any problem. Climbing out of the car, he glanced around, automatically noting his surroundings, as he strolled into the building. He found himself in a small office with two desks and a jail cell off to one side. A well built man with black hair, brown eyes and dark colored skin sat at one of the desks. He looked up as Hutch came in, arching one eyebrow questioningly.

"May I help you?" he asked in a friendly but cordial tone.  
"I'm Captain Kenneth Hutchinson. Bay City California Police Department." Hutch said formally.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Captain Hutchinson. I'm Chief Billy Whitecloud." The other man said with a welcoming smile. "You're a long way from home. What brings you to Holbrook?"

"I have reason to believe that my partner, Detective Sergeant First Class David Starsky was murdered eight and half years ago and his body was dumped somewhere in the Painted Desert not far from here."

"I see. Eight and a half years is a long time. Why haven't you come looking for him before now?" The Chief questioned.

"Because I didn't know where to look for him until a couple of days ago." Hutch explained. "I need to know if you had any reports of anyone finding a body in the desert around that time."

"I don't know. I wasn't working here then. But I suppose I could look through the old files for that time frame."

"How long will that take?" Hutch asked curtly. He knew that he was being pushy but he had never had much patience when it came to his partner.

"Maybe an hour or so. The files are stored in the back. You can wait here if you want or you can get a cup of coffee at the diner down the street and come back."

"I'll wait if you don't mind." Hutch said, settling down on a battered sofa sitting against the wall and making himself comfortable. Chief Whitecloud stood up and disappeared into an adjoining room. Hutch leaned back and tried to calm the nervous churning of his stomach. Now that he was actually here, he was finding it hard to control his anxiety. Unable to relax, he finally stood up and began to pace the confines of the office to work off some of his excess energy.

Finally, Chief Whitecloud came out of the back room with a thin file in his hand. Hutch turned to face him, apprehension showing clearly in his face. The Chief gestured for him to sit down in the chair facing the desk. Once they were both seated, he opened the file and said solemnly.

"It seems there was a body found in the desert about twenty miles north of here almost nine years ago. It was the body of man in his late thirties or early forties with dark culry hair and numerous scars. He was found in a relatively isolated area of the Petrified Forest National Park by a couple of teenagers who were looking for a place to make out."

The chief glanced through the notes in the folder before continuing. "He appeared to have been severely beaten over a long period of time. He had a broken right arm, some broken ribs and several broken fingers on his right hand. There was also a single gunshot wound just above his left ear. There was no identification on the body so he was simply listed as a John Doe."

"Wasn't there any attempt made to identify him?" Hutch demanded in a carefully controlled voice.

"Yes. We had a sketch made and sent it to all the police departments within a two hundred mile radius along with a description. We never received any response." He took a faded sketch out of the folder and handed it to Hutch who accepted it with a trembling hand. The man in the picture had a heavy growth of beard and the face was thin and haggard, but it was definitely Starsky.

Even though he had been expecting it, Hutch still felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach. He slowly ran his fingers over the image in the sketch and blinked back the tears that gathered in his eyes. In a choked voice, he said, "Can you tell me where he was buried? I'd like to make arrangements to take him home."

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that." Chief Whitecloud said, glancing at his notes once more.

"Why the hell not?" Hutch asked, a cold edge of anger creeping into his voice.

"Because he wasn't dead when his body was found."

"What?" Hutch exclaimed in a startled voice. "Where was he taken?" Hutch's voice was barely above a whisper as he struggled to absorb this new information.

"He was taken to the clinic just outside of town and from there he was care flighted to a hospital in Phoenix. I'm afraid I don't know what happened to him after that. That was the extent of our involvement in the case." Chief Whitecloud said apologetically, closing the file.

"Would there be anyone at this clinic who could give me some more information?" Hutch asked anxiously.

"Sure. Ask for Doc Adams. He's been there since the clinic opened thirty years ago."

"Can you tell me how to get there?"

The Chief nodded. "It's not hard to find. Just take the main street to the other end of town and turn left. The clinic's on the right just after you turn."

"Thank you. Thank you very much for all your help." Hutch said gratefully as he rose to his feet and shook the other man's hand firmly.

"No problem. Glad I could help. I just wish it could have been under other circumstances. I hope you find your partner so you can take him home."

"So do I." Hutch said solemnly. He turned and left the office, climbing back into the Torino. His hands were still shaking at the thought of Starsky being alive when he was found. He knew that didn't mean that Starsky was still alive but he felt the faint ember of hope burning in his chest. In his heart, Hutch knew that if Starsky was still alive, he would have found a way to contact Hutch somehow over the years. He would never have allowed Hutch to go on believing that he was dead. With a heavy heart, he felt the faint glow of hope begin to fade.

He found the clinic without any difficulty and went inside. He walked up to the main desk and showed the nurse on duty his badge.

"I'm Captain Kenneth Hutchinson from Bay City, California. May I speak to Doctor Adams, please?"

"I'll check and see if the doctor is free to talk to you." The young woman said in a friendly tone. "Please wait here." She scurried away to locate the doctor.

Within minutes, the young nurse returned accompanied by an elderly man with snow white hair and a heavily lined face. He smiled warmly as he reached out to shake Hutch's hand. "I'm Doc Adams. How can I help you, young man?" he asked in a raspy voice.

"Is there somewhere we can talk in private?" Hutch asked as he returned the firm handshake.

"Of course. Let's go back to my office." As he turned to lead the way, he said over his shoulder "Millie, hold down the fort till I get back."

The two men walked down a short hallway to a vacant office. Doctor Adams closed the door as they stepped inside and walked over to a coffee pot sitting on a table behind the desk. "Would you like a cup?" he asked Hutch cordially.

"Yes, please." Hutch said with a smile, instantly liking this man. "Black."

As he poured the coffee and then handed a cup to Hutch, the doctor looked at him and said, "All right, Captain Hutchinson. Why don't you tell me what this is all about?"

"I'm investigating the disappearance of my partner, David Starsky. He disappeared eight and a half years ago and I recently discovered information that brought me here. I spoke to your Chief of Police and found out that he was a John Doe whose body was discovered in the desert not far from here."

"Yes, I remember that case." Doctor Adams said with a heavy sigh "Tragic case. Just tragic."

"What can you tell about it? The Chief said he was brought here originally but then he was care flighted to a hospital in Phoenix."

"Yes. It was a miracle that the poor boy was still alive. He was in the process of dying when he was brought in…all of his systems were starting to shut down. I knew there wasn't anything I could do for him here. He needed to be in a hospital where there were doctors more qualified to treat him. I stabilized him the best I could before having him transferred but I have to tell you that it's highly unlikely that he even survived the trip to the hospital. He was already too far gone when he was found." He turned and rummaged through a battered file cabinet until he found what he looking for. He pulled out the manila folder and opened it. "As I said, all of his systems were in the process of shutting down when he was brought in. His vital signs were virtually non-existent. His heart was already faltering and beating erratically."

"Because of the gunshot wound to his head?" Hutch asked in a husky voice.

"Yes, he'd lost a significant amount of blood. An injury like that should have been immediately fatal. The only thing that saved him from immediate death was the fact that the bullet was a small caliber. It caused a depressed skull fracture but didn't penetrate the cranial vault. But, he had other injuries that were just as life threatening, including a collapsed lung and internal bleeding."

"Can you tell me what hospital he was taken to in Phoenix?"

"Of course. He was taken to Saint Matthews. It has one of the best trauma units in the country." The kindly doctor looked at Hutch closely. "I take it you're not just looking to close this case."

"No, I need to find him and take him home where he belongs." Hutch said in a ragged voice, no longer trying to conceal his overwhelming emotions.

"I wish you luck." Doctor Adams said sincerely. The two men exchanged another handshake and Hutch left the doctor's office prepared to continue his journey.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Hutch found himself arriving in Phoenix shortly after six o'clock that evening. He found a motel near Saint Matthews and checked in for the evening. He knew that it was too late to go to the hospital and start asking for information about Starsky. He would have to wait until morning. His conversation with Doctor Adams had effectively dashed any lingering hope he might have been harboring about Starsky's chances of still being alive. He knew that he would more than likely discover that Starsky had arrived DOA at the hospital. The best he could hope for was to find where his remains had been buried so that he could have the body returned to Bay City.

Although he was exhausted, Hutch couldn't sleep. His sharp, analytical mind was reviewing the details of the case as he knew them so far. It was apparent that the two kids who had stumbled across Starsky's body must have done so within an hour of his being shot and left there to die, otherwise he would have already been dead when they found him. Or maybe it had simply been Starsky's stubborn will to live that had kept him hanging on longer than he should have.

He would probably never know why John McFarland had chosen to abduct Starsky, torture him and then shoot him in the head in the middle of nowhere. Starsky and Hutch weren't even the officers that had arrested him for the three murders that had sent him to San Quentin, although they had arrested him previously on a charge of child pornography that had netted him six years in prison. In his warped mind, McFarland had apparently singled them out for his twisted revenge. Hutch couldn't help but wonder when McFarland had written the letter to him along with the directions on where to find Starsky's body. From the evidence on the envelope, he had had the letter in his possession for quite some time.

What had kept him from mailing it to Hutch before he died? That was just one of the questions he knew that he would probably never find the answers to. Even if the letter had been delivered sooner, it wouldn't have changed anything. Starsky would still be dead. But, at least it would have given closure to those closest to him. Starsky's mother had gone to her grave not knowing what had happened to her eldest son. Like Hutch, she had eventually resolved herself to the fact that he was dead even though a body had never been found. She had died shortly afterwards from a massive heart attack. Finally, shortly before dawn, Hutch fell into a restless slumber.

He awoke around eleven o'clock that morning, sore and stiff. He forced himself to get out of bed and took a hot shower to soothe his aching body. He was getting too old for this sort of investigation. His body was screaming for him to slow down, to rest, something he knew he couldn't do until he followed this through to its conclusion.

It was noon when he made his way to Saint Matthews, a huge hospital with a collection of specialists on staff. Hutch immediately made his way to the trauma unit and began asking questions. Nobody he talked to seem to have the answers he needed. Frustrated and angry, he finally vented his aggravation on an unfortunate clerk who had innocently referred him to yet another person on the staff.

"Look, I'm getting sick and tired of this run around! I want to talk to someone in charge who can answer my questions and I want to talk to them now!" Hutch said in a outraged voice, slamming the palm of his hand down on the counter in front of the clerk for emphasis.

Almost immediately two security guards, alerted to possible trouble by the loud tone of his voice, stepped up beside him. One of them reached out to grab Hutch's shoulder and said gruffly, "What seems to be the problem here, sir?"

Hutch shook off the man's hand and glared at him angrily. "I want to talk to someone in charge about a patient that was transferred to this hospital approximately eight and a half years ago from Holbrook, Arizona."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're going to have to ask you to leave the premises. I'm sure that you're aware that patient information is confidential."

"I'm not going anywhere!" Hutch growled in the same voice he used with the preps on the streets, a cold deadly voice that anyone who knew him knew meant that he was the very edge of his patience. He pulled out his badge and showed it to the guards. "My name is Captain Kenneth Hutchinson from the Bay City, California Police Department and I'm investigating the murder of my partner, Detective Sergeant David Starsky. I have reason to believe that he was a John Doe that was care flighted to this hospital from Holbrook after his body was discovered in the desert." His pale blue eyes flashed an inner fire that unnerved the guards. "So find me somebody that can answer my questions because I am getting tired of repeating myself!"

"Why don't you come with us, sir?" one of the guards suggested cautiously "And we'll see what we can do to find somebody who can help you."

After a moment of hesitation, Hutch nodded slightly and followed the two guards to an empty conference room at the end of the hall. One of the guards remained in the room with Hutch, while the second one went in search of the hospital's administrator.

"Your partner, huh?" the remaining guard said trying to make casual conversation to cover his own nervousness about being left alone with this volatile stranger.

"Yeah." Hutch said shortly, the tone of his voice making clear that he was in no mood to make idle conversation. He paced the room with long, measured strides as he fought to control his temper. He wasn't about to let the hospital's bureaucracy stop him now, not when he was so close to the end of his quest. If he had to, he was prepared to cause the hospital so much bad publicity that they would never be able to recoup their losses. Nothing mattered to Hutch except finding his missing partner and finally putting his memory to rest.

Finally, the second guard returned. He was accompanied by two men, both in their late fifties to early sixties with distinguished features and dressed in expensive three piece suits.

"Captain Hutchinson?" one of the men said with a thin smile. "I'm George Lucas, the attorney for Saint Matthews and this is Craig Morrison, the hospital administrator. We understand that you are here in connection with a murder investigation?"

"Yes, I am." Hutch said firmly. "My partner, Detective Sergeant David Starsky. Recently uncovered evidence suggests that my partner was care flighted to this hospital eight and half years ago from Hobrook, Arizona. He would have been listed as a John Doe."

"Mr. Hutchinson," the attorney for the hospital said in a condescending tone "I'm sure that you must be aware that in a hospital this large, the number of patients we see each year is tremendous. It would take weeks to locate any information on a patient that may or may not have been admitted to this hospital almost nine years ago. And if he was admitted as a John Doe or was dead on arrival, then those records may not even be in the system."

"Then you better do whatever you have to do to find out." Hutch growled "Because I'm not leaving without some answers. I have medical power of attorney for my partner, so any information about him can legally be released to me." Hutch's eyes narrowed dangerously. "If you refuse to cooperate in an open murder investigation involving a highly decorated and respected Bay City Police officer, then I will slap this hospital with the biggest lawsuit you've ever seen and I will personally make sure that you gentlemen are both charged with obstruction of justice."

The hospital administrator looked noticeably upset at Hutch's threats but the lawyer seemed unfazed by his outburst. In a deceptively calm voice, he said, "I will need to discuss this with my clients and the board of directors of this hospital will have to make a decision concerning your request. That may take a day or two."

"You've got twenty-four hours." Hutch growled harshly "After that, I go to a judge and get an injunction against this hospital and you will also be hearing from my lawyer concerning a lawsuit." Hutch said. "I'm staying at the Mayfield Inn. Room 211. You can reach me there with your decision."

Without another word, Hutch turned and left the room. He knew that he wouldn't make anymore headway in the investigation today. A good cop knew when to push the limits and when to back off. And Hutch was a good cop. One of the best. He knew that in the end, the hospital would see things his way and cooperate. The threat of a lawsuit and being involved in a murder investigation would be enough to ensure that. Now all Hutch could do was wait but he didn't intend to wait for long.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Back in his motel room, Hutch ordered something to eat from room service and then settled down on the bed. He picked up the phone and put through a call to Bay City. He needed to talk to someone he could trust. Captain Dobey, his previous commanding officer, had retired to Florida with his family two years ago but Hutch still had one close friend and confident that he trusted.

Huggy Bear Brown was a colorful character that Hutch had known since his Academy days. He was actually a friend of Starsky's that the brunet had met shortly after moving to Bay City when he was thirteen. Over the years, Huggy had become one of their best informants and links to the violent inner city streets that they patrolled. Nobody but Starsky, the Department Of Motor Vehicles and the IRS knew Huggy's given name.

Huggy had done well for himself over the years, starting out with modest bar and grill that he had turned into a lucrative business. Now, twenty years later, he owned three of the most popular restaurants in the Bay City area as well as the original bar and grill.

He had remained a close friend to Hutch, one of his strongest supporters after Starsky's disappearance. If it hadn't been for Huggy and Captain Dobey's persistence and concern, Hutch would have either drank himself to death or ate his gun after Starsky was officially declared dead.

The phone was answered by Diane, Huggy's wife and business partner. They had been together for years. She had started out working for Huggy as one of his waitresses. Eventually, they had fallen in love and had been married four years ago. She was a smart, educated woman with a warm, friendly personality.

"This is the Honey Den." She said "May I help you?"

"Diane, its Hutch. Can I speak to Huggy?"

"Sure, Hutch. Give me a minute. He's back in the kitchen helping out. We're short handed tonight. When you coming home, handsome?"

"Soon, I hope."

"Good. We miss you. I'll get Huggy for you."

Soft music began to play in Hutch's ear as she put him on hold. He leaned back against his pillow and stared at the ceiling, trying to gather his scattered thoughts. With his tendency to blame himself for everything that went wrong in his life, Hutch was overwhelmed for guilt at what he saw as his failure to protect his partner and best friend.

Lost in his own thoughts, he was startled when Huggy's voice came over the line,

"Hey Hutch, how's it going?"

"Slower than I would like." Hutch admitted. "It's not easy following cold trail that's almost nine years old."

"Any luck at all?"

"Yeah. I went Holbrook, Arizona. The directions with the letter they found in McFarland's cell, said that Starsky's body had been left in the Painted Desert about twenty miles from that location. I talked to the Chief of Police there and he told me that a couple of kids looking for a place to make out had stumbled across Starsky's body." He took a deep breath before continuing, "Hug, he was still alive when they found him."

"WHAT?" Huggy exclaimed in a stunned voice "Are you trying to tell me that Curly is still alive?"

"No. I said he was still alive when the kids found him. He was taken to a small clinic in Holbrook and the doctor there did what he could to stabilize him and then had him care flighted to a hospital in Phoenix. That's where I am now."

"So what did this doctor say?"

"That Starsky was already dying when he was brought into the clinic. He'd been badly beaten, had some broken bones, internal bleeding and he'd been shot in the head."

"Oh, man…and he was still alive after all that?"

"Yeah, but barely. The doctor said the bullet that was used was a small caliber so it caused a depressed skull fracture but it didn't penetrate the skull. Otherwise he would have been killed immediately. The doctor said it was highly unlikely that he even survived the flight to the hospital here in Phoenix."

"So what are the doctors there saying?"

"They're not. They're trying to hide behind their red tape and hospital policy. The hospital's lawyer said that he couldn't even guarantee that there would still be any records on Starsky especially if he was registered as a John Doe or if he was dead on arrival."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I gave them twenty-four hours to find some answers for me or I'm filing a lawsuit against the hospital and charging both the attorney and the hospital administrator with obstructing justice in a murder investigation."

Huggy snorted through the phone. "Still haven't learned how to play nice have you, Blondie?"

"I don't have time for their bullshit." Hutch grumbled. "If I have to step on a few toes or bust a couple of heads together to get some answers than I will."

"Hey, I'm on your side. You know that."

"Yeah, I know and that means a lot, Hug."

"You just do what you have to do to find Curly and bring him home." Huggy said somberly. "Even if you have to make a few more enemies along the way to do it."

"Count on it. I'm not coming back without him." Hutch said solemnly. After a few more minutes of casual conversation, Hutch ended the conversation and hung up. He closed his eyes and relaxed for the first time in days. When room service delivered his food, he forced himself to eat even though he didn't have much of an appetite. After he had finished, he took a shower and then watched TV for a couple of hours before turning in for the night.

His rest was disturbed by dreams filled with Starsky's face looming out of the darkness and his hands reaching out for help. His voice, so familiar and yet so strange, echoed in Hutch's head as the brunet cried out Hutch's name. Hutch awoke with a start, blinded by the tears that flooded his eyes and shaken by the pounding of his heart. In a broken voice, he sobbed, "I'm trying, Starsk. I'm trying to find you…give me just a little more time, buddy."

Hutch bounced to his feet and walked over to the window, peering out over the darkened parking lot. He could see the street light reflecting off of the waxed surface of the Torino which was parked right in front of his door. The Torino was his last tangible connection to Starsky and the memories associated with the car were precious to Hutch. They were all he had left of a fifteen year friendship and a twelve year partnership. Grief and mourning can take several forms and even years after a loved one dies, a smell, a noise, a familiar place can still bring back the pain of their loss as sharply as if it had just happened yesterday. Starsky's death had left a hole in Hutch's chest where his heart used to be.

As he stood there staring into the darkness, Hutch came to a realization. The only reason he hadn't packed it before now was because he had one last thing he needed to do for Starsky. He needed to find him and take him home. This was his destiny and when it was fulfilled, then his journey on this earth and his pain and suffering would finally come to an end.

Finally, Hutch grabbed his jacket and stepped out into the chilly night air. Maybe a walk would help to clear his head. The motel was close to downtown so he headed in that direction. Most of the businesses and stores were closed and dark. The only thing open this late at night was a succession of seedy bars along the strip. A streetwalker stood on the corner, leaning provocatively underneath a street light, her hands stuffed into the pockets of her fake fur jacket.

She smiled suggestively when she saw Hutch. She was young, barely out of her teens but wearing heavy makeup to try and look older than her tender years.

"Hey, cutie…" she cooed as Hutch approached. "Want some company?"

"No, thanks." Hutch said, ignoring her advances as he kept walking.

The young hooker fell into step beside him and continued her pitch,

"Hey, come on, You look like you could use some company for a while. How about it? Ten bucks for a blow job."

Hutch stopped in his tracks and turned to face the girl. In a kind voice he said, "Try to get a trick like that and you'll find yourself in the back of a black and white if you try to pick up the wrong guy." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. He pressed it into the young girl's hand and said, "Go get yourself something to eat and a place to sleep for the night. Okay?"

The girl took the money and slipped it down the front of her low cut blouse between her ample cleavage. With a smirk on her face at finding such an easy mark, she turned and disappeared into the shadows, leaving Hutch to continue his solitary walk. Some things never change. Hutch was still the white knight at heart, even if he was a little tarnished around the edges. The sun was just coming up over the horizon when Hutch finally returned to his motel room. He climbed into bed and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Later that afternoon, Hutch received a phone call from Saint Matthews. The administrator and the board of directors had decided to help Hutch in any way they could with his investigation into Starsky's disappearance. He made arrangements to meet with the administrator and the hospital's attorney the following morning at eight am. A pleased smile tugged at his mouth as he hung up the phone. He knew that they would eventually give in to his demands.

Hutch spent the rest of the day relaxing in his motel room. He made a couple of phone calls, including another ne to Huggy, then ordered some food. After eating, he made detailed notes on his journey so far. Later, he would add the information to Starsky's file so that the case could officially be closed. Finally, he leaned back against the headboard and closed his eyes. He was close, so close, he could feel it. He knew that if Starsky had been declared a John Doe when he died, then he would have been declared indigent and the state would have buried him in an unmarked grave. It would take a court order to exhume the remains and have Starsky returned to Bay City.

Hutch arrived on time for his appointment the next morning and was shown into the same conference room where he had met with the lawyer and administrator the last time he was at the hospital. As they sat down at one of the long tables in the center of the room, the administrator waved his hand at a small stack of files lying on the table in front of him.

"A review of our files for the time frame in question uncovered four possibilities that meet the criteria you specified." The lawyer said somberly. "They were all care flighted to this hospital from other locations. All four were white males in their late thirties to early forties. Two of them were shot in the head at close range and one of those was dead on arrival at this hospital."

"Those would be the two files I would be the most interested in." Hutch said. "Was either one of them transferred here from Holbrook?"

"Unfortunately, the files were incomplete. We're not sure where they were transferred from." The administrator answered. He shifted through the files and pulled out the two files in question. Opening the first file, he said, "This patient was transferred here in critical condition with a gunshot wound to the back of the head. There were no other injuries present and he was dead on arrival at our emergency room."

"What about the other patient?" Hutch asked "According to the doctor in Holbrook, my partner had other injuries from a severe beating."

The administrator opened the second file and scanned the contents. "Then this one would be a definite possibility. This patient was admitted with a gunshot wound to the head, just above the left ear resulting in a depressed skull fracture and severe swelling of the brain. He also had severe bruising and injuries resulting from a severe beating, including 4 broken ribs, a punctured lung that had collapsed, a broken right arm and four broken fingers on his right hand. In addition, he also had severe internal hemorrhaging due to a damaged spleen and bruised kidney."

"He was still alive when he arrived?" Hutch asked in a stunned voice.

"Yes. He was admitted to the trauma unit under the care of Doctor Milner. Emergency surgery was performed but the patient never regained consciousness."

"I'll need a copy of the death certificate." Hutch said quietly "And the name of the mortuary that made the final arrangements."

"I'm afraid I can't give you that information." The administrator stated. "The patient didn't die at this hospital."

"What?" Hutch exclaimed in a started voice. "Then what the hell happened to him?"

"According to the notes in the file, he was initially in a coma for over two weeks after the surgery which is not unusual given the severity of his head injury. He was on a respirator for over a week until it was determined that he could breath on his own. When he did regain consciousness there was some evidence of probable brain damage."

"What kind of brain damage?" Hutch asked in a tightly controlled voice.

"The patient appeared to be suffering from amnesia. Again, that is not unusual considering the seriousness of his head trauma. We couldn't really do a proper evaluation. He was extremely combative and had to be restrained for his own protection."

"A man is brought in here who has been severely beaten and shot in the head and you people restrain him because he's combative when he finally comes too?" Hutch said sharply "What the hell do you expect? He was probably scared out of his mind!"

"Captain Hutchinson," the lawyer for the hospital calmly cut in. "I can assure you that this hospital acted with the best interest of the patient in mind and within the guidelines of hospital policy."

"So what happened to him?" Hutch demanded in a deceptively calm voice. He was quickly losing patience with these men.

"As I said, the record is incomplete. It doesn't say." The administrator said in a disinterested voice. "However, I could see if I can locate Dr. Milner for you. Perhaps he will be able to give you more information about this case."

"I'd appreciate that." Hutch said with exaggerated politeness. "When can I talk to him?"

"Dr. Milner should be available this afternoon around three. Why don't you come back then?" the attorney suggested.

"I'll be here." Hutch assured them. The three men exchanged handshakes and Hutch left the hospital. Once more, he felt the faint flicker of hope in his chest. Could Starsky still be alive after all this time? The words _skull fracture, swelling of the brain, amnesia and combative _kept echoing in his mind. Instead of returning to his motel room, Hutch spent the next few hours walking and trying to gather his thoughts.

He returned to the hospital at the appointed time and returned to the conference room. He found a tall, thin man in his mid-sixties with salt and pepper hair and piercing brown eyes waiting for him. The man was seated at the conference table with a thick file lying open in front of him.

He rose to his feet when he saw Hutch and held out his hand. "You must be Captain Hutchinson. I'm Doctor Milner. I was told that you believe our John Doe from a few years back may be your missing partner."

"That's right." Hutch said as he sat down in a chair across from the other man. He stared into the other man's eyes and got directly to the point. "What can you tell me about the case?"

"The patient was transferred here from a small clinic that wasn't equipped to deal with the severity of his injuries. He coded twice on the flight here and once while in the emergency room being accessed. His systems were in the process of shutting down and his vital signs were virtually non-existent. In layman's terms, he was dying." The doctor scanned his notes before continuing. "We managed to stabilize him enough for surgery where we found a depressed skull fracture caused by the gunshot wound to his head. The brain was already swelling and we removed some bone chips from the surface of his left temporal lobe. We irrigated his abdomen and stopped the internal bleeding. We had to remove his spleen and a small portion of his liver. He survived the surgery and was transferred to the trauma unit in critical condition. Tests conducted over the next few days indicated that he continued to remain in unstable condition and that he had slipped into a coma. At that point he was on complete life support and not expected to survive."

"But he did…" Hutch asked in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

"Yes and I must admit that surprised all of us. He was removed from the life support a week after the surgery when his vital signs stabilized and it was determined that he was breathing on his own." The doctor consulted his notes before continuing. "He regained consciousness three weeks after he was admitted. He was very confused, disoriented and combative. We were forced to restrain him to keep him from hurting himself or a staff member. Initial tests indicated the possibility of brain damage caused by his head injury. He appeared to have total amnesia. He couldn't tell us his name, where he was from or if there was anyone we could contact on his behalf."

"What happened to him then?" Hutch asked, holding his breath as he waited for an answer.

"I don't know."

"What the hell do you mean you don't know?" Hutch growled angrily, dangerously close to the edge. His ice blue eyes glared at the doctor coldly as he waited for an answer.

"The patient disappeared during the night shortly after he regained consciousness. Somehow he got out of the restraints and slipped past hospital security. I have no idea what happened to him."

"DID YOU EVEN TRY TO FIND HIM? OR IS THIS HOSPITAL SO USED TO MISPLACING PATIENTS THAT THEY DIDN'T CARE?" Hutch yelled, his patience finally snapping.

"I assure you that we did everything possible to find him." Doctor Milner said with a sharp edge to his own voice. "We notified the local police and made a report because of his medical condition! But, they never found him so we had no choice. We listed him as leaving the hospital against medical advise and his file was closed."

Hutch stood up, using his height to his advantage as he towered over the other man. Slamming his fist down on the table, he said in a cold, deadly voice, "I can assure you, Doctor, that you will be hearing from my attorney for allowing a seriously injured patient to just walk out of this hospital unnoticed. And if I find out that my partner died as a direct result of this hospital's failure to ensure his safety and welfare, then you will be slapped with the biggest lawsuit you have ever seen and I will shut this place down!"

With those parting words, Hutch stomped out of the conference room, slamming the door behind him. His words had not been an empty threat. He would call in every favor he could to make sure that somebody paid for their incompetence. He knew that Starsky, even in an altered state of mind, was perfectly capable of sneaking out of the hospital in the middle of the night. They had both done it before in the past. But based on Starsky's condition after his near fatal shooting, he would be vulnerable and alone with no place to go and no one he could turn to for help. That alone had put him in a highly dangerous situation that had probably still resulted in his death. He was no closer to the answers that he so desperately needed then he had been that morning. Every time the faintest glimmer of hope bloomed in Hutch's chest, it was shot down again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

In a somber mood, Hutch returned to his motel room to decide how to proceed with his search. Instinct told him that Starsky would have remained in the city. He would have felt more comfortable in a larger city instead of a smaller one. But, Phoenix was large enough that searching for Starsky would be impossible without a place to start. Finally, he decided to use an old photograph of Starsky that he carried in his wallet, along with the sketch from the sheriff in Holbrook, to make up some missing persons flyers. He would include all the details he could including Starsky's basic description, a description of his scars and his last known sighting. He would add his name and phone number at the motel as a contact. He decided not to include the information that Starsky could be suffering from amnesia. With a plan in mind, he finally settled down for the night.

Early the next morning, Hutch found a local printer and arranged for him to make up 500 flyers using the information and pictures that Hutch provided. The printer told him it would take two days before they would be ready. Hutch didn't like the delay but he knew that he had no choice. Stopping at the back, he arranged to have some money transferred from his bank in Bay City. Finishing his errands, he returned to the motel where he paid the rent on his room for another two weeks.

Hutch spent the next two days writing notes on his investigation and calling Bay City to check in at headquarters and with Huggy. He also reviewed a copy of Starsky's file which he had brought with him. Even though he knew the file by heart, he hoped that he would find something that he had missed. He forced himself to eat even though he barely tasted the food that he put in his mouth.

Finally, he picked up the flyers and then spent the next three days passing them out to the local police department, stores, bars, restaurants, shelters, clinics and doctor's offices. He also nailed them on trees in suburb neighborhoods and left stacks at local churches and synagogues for them to pass out to their congregations. Although he was fairly confident that Starsky would have remained in the area, as a precaution, he also send a flyer to every police department within a hundred mile radius. Then, all he could do was to wait and hope that somebody would call him with some information.

Calls came in but most of them were false leads. Still, Hutch checked out every call he received. He couldn't take the chance of missing one that would lead him to his missing partner. Two weeks crawled by and he was no closer to finding Starsky then he had been when he started his quest. He was still getting calls but they were starting to taper off.

Hutch glanced at the list in his hand, people who had called with possible sightings of Starsky. Each morning he started out, optimistic that this would be the day he would finally get some answers, a lead that would point him in the right direction, and each night, he returned to his motel room, tired and dejected after another day with nothing to show for his efforts.

Late that afternoon, Hutch found himself in front of a rundown building on the west side of town. A sign above the doorway read _Salvation Missionary Shelter. _Sighing heavily, Hutch stepped through the doorway and paused to look around. He found himself in a large room with single beds arranged in rows along the back and long tables arranged in rows towards the front. A young woman with long dark hair and a pleasant smile walked over to Hutch and said,

"Hello, I'm Gretchen. Are you here for the meal or do you need a bed for the night?"

"Neither one." Hutch told her. "You called me about a flyer I left here a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh, yes…the missing person." She said with a nod of her head. "I'm sorry I didn't call sooner but I was on vacation and just came back to work a couple of days ago."

"Have you seen the man in the flyer?"

"I'm not really sure but I thought I should call anyway. It looks a little bit like Johnny…"

"Where can I find this Johnny?"

"That's just it. I don't know. Why don't we go back to the office where we can talk and I'll explain."

Hutch nodded curtly and followed the young woman down a short hallway to a small office. The desk was littered with papers, folders, and various forms. A battered leather couch sat against the wall facing the desk. "Please sit down." Gretchen told him. She walked over to a coffee pot sitting on a filing cabinet behind the desk and poured two cups. She handed one to Hutch and kept one for herself.

Hutch accepted the coffee and sat down on the sofa. "So, what can you tell me about this Johnny?"

"Not much I'm afraid." Gretchen said as she sat down on the edge of the desk and looked at Hutch sympathetically. "I first saw Johnny about eight years ago. That's what caught my eye when I first saw your flyer. I saw him out back in the alley rummaging through the garbage cans looking for something to eat. He ran off when he saw me."

"But, he came back?" Hutch guessed

"Yes…but…he was very scared of people. He wouldn't let anyone get close to him without running away. So, I started leaving food and clothes outside for him. Sometimes it would be a week or more before he came back but he when he did, he'd take the things I left for him…so at least I knew I was helping him a little bit." She sighed softly "But, he never got over his fear of letting anyone get too close to him. I don't even know his name…I just started calling him Johnny. I've never even heard him talk. I don't know if he can."

"And you have no idea where he stays or where he sleeps?"

"No. I don't. He still comes around every couple of weeks but I couldn't tell you where he goes. I assumed that something really bad had to have happened to him for him to be so afraid of any human contact."

Hutch thought about what she had told him and then decided to be honest with her. "If it is my partner, he was abducted from his apartment in Bay City, California and brought here. He was taken to the desert near Holbrook, Arizona and shot in the head, then left for dead…after they beat the shit out of him. Some kids found him. He was still alive and brought to hospital here in Phoenix. He survived his injuries but when he came too…it appeared that he had amnesia. He was disoriented and combative so the hospital had to restrain him. One night, he snuck out of the hospital and disappeared. That's the last time anyone saw him."

"Oh, my God!" Gretchen exclaimed "That poor man! If he is Johnny, then that could explain why he behaves the way he does. He doesn't trust anyone and he doesn't even know his own name. He must be terrified most of the time."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"It would have been about two weeks ago, just before I left on vacation. I put food out every evening but so far, he hasn't been around to get it. It's still there in the morning."

"And there's no particular pattern to when he comes around?"

"No, I'm afraid not. It's always late at night, I know that. Sometimes it's every couple of weeks but sometimes it's longer than that."

"But you said that he does resemble the picture on the flyer?"

"Yes…I mean his hair is a lot longer but it's curly and he has a bushy beard. He's awfully thin but he still seems to be healthy. I've never been close enough to him to see any of the scars you described. He looks a lot older than the age you had on the flyer but he could be younger than he looks. I mean…if he's been living on the streets all this time, he hasn't been taking care of himself properly and it's hard to take a bath or practice good hygiene."

"What kind of clothes does he wear?"

"Blue jeans, tennis shoes, tee shirts…and a beat up black leather jacket that someone donated to the shelter." Gretchen said

Hutch hid a smile. Gretchen didn't realize that she had just described the way that Starsky had dressed even before his disappearance. Hutch looked thoughtful for a moment and then said, "I need your help. The only way I'm going to find out if this is my partner or not is if I'm in a position to watch for him."

"You wanna stay here?" Gretchen said with a smirk. "I'm sorry but…I'm afraid that you wouldn't quite fit in with the other residents."

"That's not exactly what I had in mind." Hutch told her "I was thinking like more of a volunteer…on the night shift."

"I think that could be arranged. Not many people want to volunteer for that shift. When can you start?"

"How about tonight?"

"Tonight it is. Be here at eleven."

"Thank you." Hutch said with a grateful smile as he rose to his feet and reached out to shake her hand. "If this Johnny is my partner I'll never be able to thank you enough for your help."

"That's why we're here. It's our mission from God to help the ones who can't help themselves." Gretchen smiled sweetly and stood up to escort him to the door. "I hope that he is your friend…for his sake and for yours."

"I'll see you tonight at eleven." Hutch told her as they parted ways at the entrance to the shelter. He returned to his motel room in good spirits with a new spring to his step. That ember of hope was starting to burn brightly. His cop instincts screamed at him that this was the first solid lead that he'd gotten so far.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Hutch returned to the shelter that night at ten-thirty. Gretchen, who turned out to be the director of the shelter, showed him around and helped familiarize him with the nightly routine. The doors were locked at eleven and the regulars all knew that they had to check in before then if they wanted a bed for the night. The doors were unlocked again the next morning at eight when breakfast was served. All three of the meals at the shelter were open to anyone who stopped by. The shelter was open to both men and women. They had thirty beds available. Fifteen for men and fifteen for women. The beds were given out on a first come, first served basis. Any resident who wanted to spend more than one night in the shelter, had to check in by eight o'clock that night to make sure that they had a bed for the night.

Hutch's duties primarily consisted of keeping an eye on the residents and making sure there was no fighting or drugs, including alcohol. Smoking was allowed but only in designated areas and then only with Hutch's supervision. There were snacks, juice and soda available twenty-four hours a day for any of the residents or volunteers. Hutch would be relieved at six in the morning by another volunteer.

After showing him around, Gretchen left and Hutch was alone. Most of the residents were sleeping. Snores, coughs, and soft wheezing sounds filled the air. The lights were dimmed and Hutch found the solitude soothing. Every half an hour, he stepped outside into the alley and scanned the area, hoping to see the elusive Johnny. But the night passed with no sight of anyone in the alley. The paper bag of food that Gretchen had sat outside the back door before leaving remained untouched.

Over the next six days, Hutch got to know some of the regulars at the shelter. Two of the men told him that they had seen Johnny a couple of times but that he ran away whenever he saw them. One of the men did tell Hutch that he had heard Johnny mumbling to himself one day but he couldn't tell what he was saying. Hutch was pleased with this bit of information. It appeared that Johnny's verbal skills were at least intact.

The second man also provided some useful information. He told Hutch that he thought that Johnny might sleep in an old abandoned building several blocks away. He said that he had seen Johnny going into the building late one night. The building was in terrible condition and in constant danger of collapse, so most of the other local homeless avoided sleeping there. That made it the perfect place for someone who was trying so desperately to avoid contact with anyone. Hutch filed the information away for future reference.

Eight days after starting as a volunteer at the shelter, Hutch was disappointed to find the bag of food by the door gone when he made one of his periodic trips to the alley. He knew that he had to have missed the mysterious Johnny by mere minutes since the bag had been there the last time he had been in the alley. His shoulders slumped in defeat as he went back into the building. The next morning, he hung around to report this latest information to Gretchen before he left for the day.

"He could have been watching you." Gretchen pointed out. "There have been a couple of times that I could almost sense someone watching me from the shadows when I put out the food."

"That sounds like something Starsky would do." Hutch said with a snort. "Especially if he's as paranoid about being around people as you say he is."

"No matter what circumstances have brought Johnny to where he is today, I have never doubted the fact that he is a very intelligent man." Gretchen said. She offered Hutch a doughnut from the box sitting on her desk but he shook his head politely. "He'd have to be to have survived for as long as he has on the streets."

"Starsky was one of the most stubborn bastards you'd ever want to meet." Hutch said somberly. "And he was one of the toughest. But, he was also one of the kindest, most compassionate men you could ever hope to know."

"He was more than just your partner, wasn't he?"

"He was the best friend I had in the whole world. He was like my brother." Hutch admitted. It had been a long time since he had talked to anyone about his feelings for Starsky and their relationship. It was unique and it always had been, from the day they first met at the Police Academy. Very few people understood the special bond that they shared. Their friends simply accepted it for what it was. Hutch knew that he was pinning all of his hopes on this mysterious Johnny turning out to be Starsky. If he wasn't, Hutch was going to be devastated but that wouldn't stop him from continuing his search. He knew that this time, he would never give up looking. He would continue searching till the day he died if he had to.

"I'm sorry." Gretchen apologized "I shouldn't pry. It's none of my business."

"No, that's all right. I don't mind. It actually feels good to have someone to talk to about him."

"You miss him very much, don't you?" Gretchen said quietly

"Yes, I do. Everyday."

"And if you find out that he's dead after all?"

"Then I'll still take him home where he belongs." Hutch told her. "That's what this trip was all about."

"I want you to take the next two days off. You need some time away from here."

"I've worked more days in a row then this as a cop." Hutch told her

"I'm sure you have but I have to insist. I don't want to see you here for the next two days."

"Okay." Hutch reluctantly agreed. He smiled to himself as he prepared to leave. Just because he had agreed to take the next two days off, that didn't mean he couldn't drive to the shelter and park across the street for a few hours and keep an eye on the alley. It would be almost like old times. Being on a late night stake out again. The only thing missing would be Starsky sitting in the front seat beside him.

"I know you're here, buddy." Hutch whispered as he drove away from the shelter. "I can feel it and I'm going to find you one way or the other." As he stopped for a red light, he closed his eyes and concentrated on his missing partner. At one time, they had shared an almost psychic connection. They had the uncanny ability to sense when the other one was in trouble or hurt. It had served them well during their years on the streets. It had only failed them a few times over the years like the morning that Starsky had disappeared. Hutch's eyes snapped opened as he felt a faint tug at his mind, followed by a warm sense of well being and peace. Even after all these years was his bond with Starsky still intact even if it was weak from being apart for so long? Or was it all one sided now, especially if Starsky had no memory of his past? If the bond was still there, would it be strong enough to allow Starsky to trust him when he trusted no one else around him? All Hutch could do was wait and find out. And pray. Pray to a God that he had forsaken long ago and ask for his guidance. If Starsky was still alive, then some unseen entity had watched out for him this long, protecting him until Hutch could find him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

It had been over a month since Hutch had started volunteering at the shelter. He had been restless and on edge all evening but couldn't pinpoint why. He had been forced to extend his leave of absence from the department and had moved out of the motel to a less expensive one bedroom apartment he had found in the same neighborhood as the shelter. Unknown by all but his closest friends, Hutch was a wealthy man. He had access to a private trust fund and an inheritance that would have allowed him to live well for the rest of his life without working if he chose to. But, Hutch had turned his back on his families money years ago and seldom touched the money in the trust fund or the inheritance that he had received when his parents died. But, he was willing to use that money now to extend his stay in Phoenix until he found Starsky.

After making sure that all the residents were settled in for the night, Hutch made his first trip to the alley. The bag of food, along with a blanket lay beside the back door. Hutch glanced around, peering into the darkness. He felt the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. "Starsk?" he whispered into the darkness "Are you out there somewhere?" He stood there, staring into the darkness for several minutes, before turning and going back into the building. He returned to the alley two more times and felt the same eerie feeling of being watched that he had felt earlier.

Shortly after three am, he made another trip to the alley. As he opened the door, he saw the figure of a man walking down the alley towards the street. The man's gait was slow with a slight limp but there was something familiar about it. "Starsky!" he yelled without thinking.

The man turned and looked at Hutch for a moment, long enough for Hutch to get a clear look at the man's face beneath the streetlamp. A heavy, unkempt beard covered the man's face and the long, curly hair was matted and tangled. Hutch could see the jagged scar that started on the man's forehead and disappeared into the hairline just above his left ear. But, it was the man's eyes that burned their way into Hutch's very soul. Brilliant, sapphire blue eyes that Hutch would have recognized anywhere. Instinctively, Hutch reached out his hand towards the retreating man.

The man instantly dropped the blanket and bag that he held in his left hand and ran, disappearing from sight. Hutch ran to the end of the alley but the man had disappeared into the darkness. Hutch knew that he couldn't leave the shelter unattended to follow him. With a heavy heart, he turned and slowly walked back to the rear entrance to the building. But, at least he knew now that his search had not been in vain. David Starsky was still very much alive. Hutch knew Starsky wouldn't be back, not tonight anyway. It could be weeks before he felt confident enough to return.

As he waited for his shift to end, Hutch decided to try and find the building where old Charlie had told him was where he thought 'Johnny' might sleep sometimes. Maybe he could stake it out and make contact with Starsky again that way. He decided to wait until Gretchen came on duty to talk to her. His time at the shelter was over. It was time to take his investigation to the next level.

Gretchen was pleased when Hutch told her that her "Johnny" was indeed Hutch's missing partner.

"Are you sure it was him? I mean he doesn't look much like the pictures on that flyer."

"I know it was him. I'd know his eyes anywhere." Hutch told her with a happy grin.

"So what are you going to do now? He's not going to just go back home with you." Gretchen pointed out.

"I know. I'm going to have to find a way to get him to trust me." Hutch said "Now that I know it is Starsky, I'm going to have to devote all of my time trying to find out where he's sleeping and getting him to trust me enough to let me get close to him."

"Which means you are going to be leaving us."

"I'm afraid so."

"It's all right. I understand. I just hope that if things work out the way you hope they will, that you will bring Johnny by here before you leave town so we can say goodbye."

"Count on it." Hutch promised her. He grinned as he leaned forward and gave Gretchen a kiss on the cheek. She blushed self consciously and said,

"I'll be praying for both of you."

"Thanks. We can use all the prayers we can get." Hutch turned and left the shelter. He returned to his rented room long enough to get a couple of hours sleep before hitting the streets again, this time talking to the local homeless and street people to try and find another lead on Starsky's whereabouts.

By late afternoon, he had found the abandoned building where he thought Starsky might be sleeping in during the day. Most of the homeless people who had seen Starsky from time to time seemed to agree that he only came out at night where he felt safer since there weren't as many people around. Hutch thought about going into the building and trying to find Starsky but decided against it. He wanted to make sure this was where he was first. Plus, he didn't wanted to scare him into going into hiding somewhere else.

Hutch found a place to park where the Torino wouldn't be so obvious, not an easy task since the car wasn't easy to hide. Luckily, there was a twenty-four hour paid parking lot just across the street and he was able to park beside another car that blocked the view of the Torino from the street. Hutch could stay in the relative comfort of the Torino and still watch the abandoned building across the street.

It was after midnight before Hutch finally saw a figure emerge from the building and disappear into the darkness. Once the man was out of sight, Hutch climbed out of the Torino and crossed the street. He knew he might now have much time and he wanted to have a look inside the building before Starsky returned.

Turning on the flashlight he had brought with him from the car, he slowly crept into the crumbling building. Inside, the floor was littered with trash, fallen plaster, and used needles. The walls in what used to be the lobby had large cracks in them and one of them was partially collapsed. It was apparent that the building had been abandoned for years. The stairs leading to the upper stories was completely gone, so if Starsky was sleeping in the building, he had to be sleeping somewhere on the first floor. Hutch found a long hallway with several closed doors. The ceiling at the far end of the hallway was caved in and strips of faded yellow caution tape lay on the floor.

Hutch began opening doors at random. The third door he opened was to a small windowless room that had a pile of blankets in one corner. Hutch swept his flashlight around the room and found other evidence that someone had indeed been sleeping here. There were several candles sitting in strategic spots around the room, several empty Styrofoam cups, and several scraps of paper lying on the floor. Curious, Hutch picked up one of the sheets of paper and examined it under the light. He recognized Starsky's familiar left handed scrawl. He had written what looked like dates or numbers and an unconnected word here and there. There were also some roughly drawn sketches, dark brooding figures without faces. The most telling drawing was a crude picture of a badge. Where the drawings simple random images from a disturbed mind or where they hidden memories struggling to surface? Hutch wouldn't know the answer to that one until he was able to actually make contact with Starsky. And before he could do that, he had to get his friend to trust him enough to let him even get close to him.

Hutch carefully made his way back out of the building, making sure that he didn't leave any evidence that he had been in the building. He wasn't sure just how aware Starsky was of his surroundings but he didn't want to take any chances. Not when he was so close. He returned to the car and kept watch until he saw Starsky return to the building shortly before dawn. Only then did he return to his own rented room to get some much needed rest.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Hutch continued his surveillance on Starsky for the next week. He wanted a basic idea of Starsky's movements and habits before making his next move. He soon discovered that Starsky seldom left the building until at least midnight and then returned just before dawn. Usually, he returned with random items that he had managed to scavenge on his nocturnal travels. If he encountered anyone on the street before reaching the safety of the building, he avoided them even if he had to cross the street to do it.

Hutch had followed him on foot one night, being careful to keep at a discreet distance, and discovered that Starsky appeared to have a routine that he followed. There were several stores that he stopped at and rummaged through their dumpsters and Hutch soon discovered that the shelter apparently wasn't the only place that left him food. One place he always stopped was a small park where he would sit by a tiny pond, sometimes for two hours or longer before moving on.

Hutch watched the building waiting for Starsky to leave. When he did, Hutch gathered up the items he had brought with him and hurried into the building. He found the room where Starsky slept and carefully left his offerings behind. A heavier blanket, several cans of root beer, a pack of powdered donuts, and a pair of bright blue Addis running shoes with a three white stripes on the side. He thought that maybe one of his offerings might trigger a hidden memory for Starsky. He just hoped that Starsky would not be spooked by the intrusion into his private domain and go into hiding but that was a chance that Hutch was willing to take. He had to start trying to gain Starsky's trust sometime and what better way to do it than by leaving him some of his favorite things even if Starsky couldn't remember that they were he liked them.

When Hutch returned to his surveillance the following night, he hid a grin when Starsky came out of the building. The first thing the big blond noticed was the new shoes on Starsky's feet. His familiar trademark Addis running shoes. Apparently, Hutch's gifts had been accepted.

Shortly after Starsky left for the night, a thunderstorm struck. Sheets of rain poured down as lightening pieced the sky. Hutch hoped that Starsky had been able to find shelter from the downpour. Starsky had always hated the rain. He hated getting wet and cold. Dawn was breaking over the horizon when Hutch saw a obviously soaked Starsky trudging back into the building. Hutch returned to his room but spent most of the day worrying about Starsky. Since an assassination attempt two years before his disappearance, Starsky had been more susceptible to colds and lung infections. Hutch overslept and was late arriving for his surveillance that night and didn't see Starsky leave the building. When he didn't see him return that morning at his usual time, he got worried and knew that he had to take the chance of going into the building to make sure that the burnet hadn't gone on the run again.

Hutch grabbed the flashlight and made his way into the condemned building. As soon as he opened the door to Starsky's hideaway, he smelled the odor of sour vomit and urine. Flashing his light around the room, he saw the huddled figure curled up in the corner underneath the blankets. Without a second thought, he crossed the room in three long strides and knelt down beside his friend. He knew right away that Starsky was in trouble. His eyes were closed and his face was flushed with fever. Sweated beaded on his forehead and dripped down his cheeks. His breathing was heavy and labored with a definite wheezing sound. Hutch hissed as he laid the back of his hand against Starsky's forehead. He was burning up, his fever dangerously high.

Hutch knew that Starsky needed immediate medical attention but he was concerned about his state of mind. He didn't want to take him to a hospital where he would be sedated or restrained if he became combative. After a moment of thought, Hutch knew what he had to do. He had to take Starsky back to his rented room and try to find a discreet doctor who would treat him there.

"Hey, buddy…" Hutch said in that soft, gentle voice he reserved solely for his partner when he was hurt or sick. "Hutch is here and I'm going to take care of you. Trust me…"

He carefully gathered the weak and desperately ill man up in his arms, alarmed at how light he felt. Starsky's head came to rest against Hutch's shoulder but he didn't stir. Hutch found himself hoping that Starsky would remain unconscious at least until he got him back to his room. He didn't want to have to deal with a feverish, possibly combative and terrified Starsky while trying to drive through the early morning traffic. A Starsky who was afraid of any kind of human contact. Hutch made it to the car with his precious burden and gently laid him down on the front seat. Sliding underneath the steering wheel, he eased Starsky's head into his lap. Hutch was alarmed at the heat he could feel radiating from Starsky's skin even through the heavy denim of his jeans.

He made it back to his room without any problems and carefully lifted Starsky out of the car. The brunet remained unconscious even as Hutch carried him into the building and up the steps to his second floor room. Luckily, there were no other residents around that early in the morning. Hutch managed to unlock the door to his room without dropping Starsky and stepped inside, kicking the door shut behind him.

He carefully laid Starsky down on the sagging double bed in the middle of the room and untangled him from the blanket he had wrapped around him. Starsky was still dressed in the wet clothes from the day before. He had vomited on himself at some point and had also had an accident. Hutch knew Starsky needed medical attention but first Hutch needed to try and get his fever down to a more manageable level. He hurried into the tiny bathroom and ran the tub half full of lukewarm water. Returning to Starsky's side, he gathered the unresponsive man into his arms and carried him into the bathroom, gently lowering him into the tub of water. Even the sudden immersion in the lukewarm bath failed to get a response from Starsky.

Hutch grabbed a threadbare washcloth and began to bath the brunet's face and neck. Using one hand to tug at the faded blue tee shirt, he managed to pull it off over Starsky's head and tossed it aside. He muttered an obscenity when he noticed the outline of Starsky's ribs which were clearly visible underneath his skin. It was obvious that he hadn't been eating right for quite some time. Hutch continued to gently wash Starsky's face, chest, arms and hands in an attempt to bring down his fever. Starsky's labored breathing was the only sign that he was still alive.

Finally, Hutch noticed a slight difference in the temperature of Starsky's skin. The fever had gone down marginally. Hutch quickly lifted Starsky's limp body out of the tub and carried him back to the bed, lying him on top of the blanket and quickly stripping off his clothes. He covered the emaciated body with an extra blanket from the closet and then reached for the phone on the wobbly stand beside the bed. He quickly dialed the number for the shelter and asked for Gretchen. When she came on the line, he blurted out,

"I need your help. I have Starsky with me and he needs a doctor. I think he might have pneumonia. He's unconscious and running a high fever. I got it down for now but he needs medical attention."

"I think I know somebody who can help. Where are you?"

"1374 Clover Avenue, Apartment 2D. The door is unlocked. Tell them to just come on in."

"Hang on. We'll be there as soon as we can."

Hutch hung up without saying goodbye and turned his attention back to his sick friend. Starsky was still unresponsive but his fever was down and he seemed to be breathing a bit easier. All Hutch could do was wait and pray that he hadn't made a mistake by not taking Starsky to a hospital immediately.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Twenty minutes later, Gretchen entered the room accompanied by a portly man in his mid-forties with thinning black hair. Hutch glanced up but didn't abandon his place at Starsky's side.

"This is Doctor Ames," Gretchen said introducing the two men "Jim, this is Ken Hutchinson." She looked at Hutch, "Jim volunteers at the shelter two days a week. Luckily he was there when you called."

The doctor gave Hutch a nod and a warm smile as he stepped up to the side of the bed. Pulling a stethoscope from his jacket pocket, he immediately began to listen to Starsky's lungs. Hutch watched him carefully and said, "He was running a high fever but I managed to get it down a little. He's been non-responsive ever since I found him. His breathing is labored and his lungs sound congested."

"Good diagnosis," Doctor Ames said in an approving tone. He listened intently for a few more minutes and then added as he straightened up, "Your friend has pneumonia. He is also severely dehydrated and underweight. Of course that is to be expected considering the way he's been living." He glanced over Hutch's shoulder at Gretchen "So this is your mysterious Johnny, is it?"

"His name is David. David Starsky." Hutch said

"I think that David suits him better anyway." Gretchen said

"Your friend really should be in a hospital." Doctor Ames said somberly as he checked the rest of Starsky's vital signs.

"I'd rather avoid that if at all possible." Hutch said

"Yes, I'm aware of David's aversion to any direct contact with people. And I would have to agree that it could be detrimental to David's health to wake up and find himself in a hospital surrounded by people." The Doctor appeared to be considering his options. Finally, he said, "All right, for now…I'll treat him here. I brought some antibiotics with me. You'll need to make sure he takes them every four hours. You're also going to have to push the fluids and make sure that his fever stays down. As he becomes re-hydrated, he will become more responsive and may become combative. You have to make sure that he doesn't hurt himself. Keep him as quiet and calm as possible. If his condition does not improve within the next forty-eight hours, he's going to have to be taken to a hospital. Agreed?"

"Agreed." Hutch said reluctantly.

"Good." He took a bottle of pills out of his pocket and handed them to Hutch. "He needs to take two of those every four hours until they are gone."

"I'll make sure that one of the volunteers brings you something to eat so you don't have to leave David until he's better." Gretchen said "It's the least I can do for the two of you. David deserves a happy ending."

"I think we still got a long way to go before he gets one." Hutch said gruffly. He looked at his two new friends and smiled gratefully. "I can't begin to thank you both enough for all your help."

"That's what we're here for." Doctor Ames answered for both of them. "It's our calling from God. I'll stop by again tomorrow to see how he's doing."

"And I'll send some supplies and food over later." Gretchen said.

Hutch nodded, turning his attention back to Starsky as the two of them showed their way out. Hutch wiped Starsky's feverish brow and then went into the bathroom for a glass of water. Returning to the bedside, he gently slipped one arm under Starsky's shoulders and lifted him enough that Hutch could slip two of the antibiotic pills between his lips, followed by a few sips of the water. Some of the water dribbled out of the side of Starsky's mouth but he still managed to swallow most of it along with the pills. Hutch carefully eased him back down on the bed and continued his faithful watch.

As promised, one of the volunteers from the shelter stopped by early that evening with an armload of supplies and food. The young man dropped off his burden and left, leaving Hutch to sort through the items he had brought. There were two extra blankets, heavy ones, some clean clothes for Starsky, a bag of personal hygiene items, a hot water bottle, a thermometer, and a large bottle of aspirins. The bag of food included a bowl of hot stew, some homemade rolls, and a piece of apple pie. In addition, there were also several packs of snack foods and some fresh fruit. There was also a thermos of hot coffee. It seemed like Gretchen had thought of everything and for that Hutch was grateful.

Hutch settled down in the chair beside Starsky and enjoyed his evening meal. He had managed to get Starsky to drink several glasses of water and the brunet seemed to be sleeping comfortably. He still had a fever but it wasn't nearly as high as it had been when Hutch discovered him in that dark, lonely room where Starsky had been sleeping.

Later that evening, Hutch fetched a warm basin of water from the bathroom, along with a towel, washcloth and bar of soap. He spent the next hour carefully washing the dirt and grime from Starsky's body. When he had finished, Hutch cut Starsky's nails. He couldn't do anything at the moment about the dirty tangled curls or beard. That would have to wait. He winced when he looked at the three inch jagged scar just over Starsky's left eyebrow that disappeared back into his hairline.

"God, Starsk…" he said "I always knew that you had nine lives but you still amaze me sometimes. You gotta quit doing this shit, my heart can't take it." He choked back a sob as he continued to pour his heart out to his unresponsive friend. "I thought you were dead! All this time, I thought you were dead! I thought you broke your promise and left me without saying goodbye!"

A bitter tear slipped from his eye and fell unnoticed down his cheek. "I gave up…I tried to crawl inside a bottle because I didn't have the guts to eat my gun! I didn't want to live without you." He instinctively reached out and took Starsky's hand in his, squeezing it lightly. "When I started this trip…I thought I was looking for your body to bring you home…then I found out that you were still alive and I couldn't believe it."

Tears flowed freely now and without any shame. Hutch climbed into the bed beside Starsky and gathered the smaller man into his arms. Resting his head against those dark, tangled curls, he closed his eyes and felt a wave of peace sweep over him. He stretched out his long frame and relaxed. This wasn't the first time that the two men had shared a bed, usually when one of them was sick and needed comforting or when they were too drunk to drive home. They had always seemed to draw strength from each other and Hutch was more than willing to share his strength now with his desperately ill friend.

"I love you, Starsk…I always have and I always will. No matter what it takes, we're gonna get you through this and take you home where you belong. And I swear that I will take care of you for the rest of my life if that's what it takes to make you whole again. I'm here, buddy…I'm here…"

Hutch knew that Starsky didn't hear his words but that didn't matter. Sharing them with Starsky made him feel better. Exhausted, he let his eyes drift shut and soon fell into a deep slumber.

Doctor Ames arrived early the next morning, waking Hutch up with his appearance. He climbed out of the bed and stood, quietly watching, as the doctor did a quick exam of Starsky. When he had finished, he looked at Hutch with a smile.

"His fever is down and his lungs sound a little better. He's also not as dehydrated as he was. Keep up the good work. It looks like you're the best medicine he could have right now."

"So he won't have to go to the hospital?"

"Not as long as he continues to improve and his condition remains stable." Doctor Ames looked at Hutch closely. "You know, with David's aversion to human contact that could present a problem when he wakes up. He's not going to want you to get anywhere near him. I don't think you'll have to worry about him trying to leave, he'll be too weak and disoriented for a few days to even get out of bed. But he could get combative."

"I'll deal with that when it happens." Hutch said firmly. "Now that I've found him, I'm not about to let him out of my sight again."

"He's lucky to have a friend like you. Most of the homeless people out there don't have anyone who gives a damn about them. That's why they're out there in the first place."

"He would never have been out there in the first place if I had known where he was and what was going on." Hutch said "I thought he was dead…we all did."

"You can't blame yourself for what happened to David. You were just as much of a victim as he was. But, now you have the chance to make things right and I have no doubt in my mind that the two of you will be okay." He glanced back at Starsky with a smile. "He's going to need you now more than he ever has before."

"Do you think that he'll ever be the same man he used to be?" Hutch asked, voicing his greatest fear.

"From what I understand about what happened to him, he's managed to survive this long. That says a lot. What you need to keep in mind is that even if he has brain damage from the gunshot wound or can't remember anything about his past life, the man you know is still in there somewhere. It's just a matter of finding the right key to help him find his way back. Personally, I think that having someone there that they know who cares and loves them can work miracles." The doctor laid a comforting hand on Hutch's shoulder and said, "Put your faith in God, son…and in yourself." With those parting words, the doctor left the room.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Later that afternoon, Starsky appeared to be more restless, tossing his head back and forth on the pillow and clutching at the blanket with his fingers. His eyes moved rapidly back and forth beneath his closed lids, a sign that he was probably dreaming. Ever since Hutch had known Starsky, the brunet had been prone to nightmares. It was no wonder that the atrocities they saw on the streets every day would return to haunt them at night in their dreams. But, Starsky had also survived the horrors of eighteen months in Viet Nam with the last four months being spent in a POW camp. More than once, Hutch had driven to Starsky's apartment in the middle of the night to comfort him through the aftermath of a particularly bad nightmare that had left the brunet shaky and off balance. Hutch had no doubt that the past eight and half years had flooded Starsky's subconscious with enough fuel for nightmares to last a lifetime.

Hutch ran his fingertips gently across Starsky's cheek and began talking to him in a soothing, quiet voice. "It's okay, babe…it's just a dream…that's all…just a bad dream." On some level, Starsky seemed to hear Hutch's voice and turned his cheek into Hutch's hand, a gesture so like the old Starsky that Hutch felt tears flooding his eyes. "I'm here, Babe…I'm here. You're not alone anymore…"

Hutch felt a sharp pain deep in his heart as he found himself thinking about Starsky being alone, afraid of any human contact for the past eight and half years. How had he survived? Starsky had always been the more tactile of the two men, the one who touched people freely and without any hesitation. Hutch had always felt honored that Starsky had chosen him as his best friend.

He smiled faintly. They had been as different as night and day. Hutch was a college educated mid-westerner from a well to do family who had had all the advantages that his parent's money could buy. While Starsky was from a middle class family that never had much money but had more then enough love to go around. A graduate of the school of hard knocks, Starsky had streets smarts that more than made up for his lack of a formal education. Yet, despite their differences, Starsky and Hutch had filled a void in each other's lives that neither of them knew was there until they met.

Hutch blinked back his tears and said, "I know you're in there somewhere, buddy and I'm going to help you find your way back…we're gonna fight this thing together…just like always…me and thee…" Seemingly comforted by Hutch's voice and his touch, Starsky relaxed into a peaceful slumber. It was apparent that, on some subconscious level at least, the trust and the bond was still intact.

As it got later in the evening, Starsky began to show some definite signs of trying to wake up. He grew restless again but this time it wasn't because he was dreaming. He began mumbling under his breath, in a raspy, barely audible voice. The words were slurred and incoherent but Hutch had never been happier to hear Starsky's voice in his life.

"Come on, babe…" Hutch coaxed him quietly "Open those baby blues for me…"

After several minutes of gentle coaxing on Hutch's part, Starsky's eyes fluttered and opened a sliver, just enough to see a flash of blue. His eyes closed again but then opened almost immediately. The change was instantaneous. Those sapphire eyes filled with a deep terror unlike anything Hutch had ever seen and Starsky let out a high pitched squeal of fear as he tried to pull away from Hutch.

"Shhh…shhhh…" Hutch said, holding his hands up, palms forward, in a non-threatening gesture. "It's okay, babe…it's me. It's Hutch."

Starsky's voice turned to a pitiful whimper as he edged closer to the other side of the bed, his terror stricken eyes never leaving Hutch's face. Hutch quickly stepped backwards to put some distance between them in an effort to give Starsky some space, keeping his hands up in a non-threatening manner. Starsky paused at the opposite edge of the mattress and lay there, his body tense and rigid, breathing heavily. Starsky's chest heaved with the effort as the panic threatened to overwhelm him.

"Easy, Starsk…" Hutch said in a quiet, non-threatening voice. "Just take a couple of deep breathes." Automatically, Hutch took a deep, slow breath to demonstrate and exhaled slowly, pleased when Starsky followed his example without thinking. "I'm not going to hurt you." Hutch told him "I just want to help you. You're sick. You have pneumonia." He took a deep breath and continued, "Starsk, do you know who I am?"

Slowly, Starsky shook his head from side to side. A single tear fell from one eye and slid down his cheek. Hutch took a deep breath and decided to push the edge a little bit more. "Do you know who you are? Do you know your name?" Again, Starsky shook his head. This was something Hutch could work with. "Your name is David Starsky and you're from Bay City, California and you're my best friend." Although Starsky appeared to be listening, his eyes were still filled with fear and he edged a bit closer to the edge of the bed.

"Are you hungry?" Hutch asked, changing tactics. He carefully reached into the bag sitting on the floor beside the nightstand and pulled out a chocolate candy bar. He held it up for Starsky to see before carefully leaning forward to lay it on the bed. He stepped back and waited to see how Starsky would react.

After a brief hesitation, Starsky reached out and grabbed the candy. He tore open the wrapper and crammed the sweet treat into his mouth. When he finished, he looked at Hutch as if asking him for more. Hutch smiled and reached back into the bag. This time he pulled out a ham and cheese sandwich. He smiled as he offered it to Starsky. But, Starsky still didn't trust Hutch enough to take it from his hand. Sighing, Hutch laid the sandwich on the bed and watched as Starsky grabbed it and began eating it almost desperately. Hutch smiled. Food was always one way to get Starsky's attention. He laid a second sandwich on the bed and watched as Starsky wolfed it down too. He ate a total of four sandwiches before his appetite seemed to be satisfied. Some things never change.

Once he had eaten, Starsky curled up in a fetal position and hid his face against his drawn up knees. Hutch settled down in the chair beside the bed to watch over him. He knew that he couldn't push too hard. Starsky had to reach out to him voluntarily and he wouldn't do that until he was ready. The trauma of the past few years, combined with being shot and left for dead, had definitely left scars on the brunet's psyche that may never heal entirely.

After a while it appeared that Starsky had fallen asleep again. Hutch cautiously approached the other side of the bed and gently covered him with a blanket. Soon it would be time to give him some more of the antibiotics. Hutch hoped that he could get Starsky to take the medication without putting up a fight. Hutch knew that Starsky would bolt the first chance he got unless Hutch kept a close eye on him. Thankfully, the door to the room had a deadbolt lock and Hutch had the only key.

When Doctor Ames knocked on the door, Hutch opened it and held a finger against his lips to warn him to be quiet. As the Doctor stepped into the room, Hutch said in a loud whisper, "He woke up a little while ago and ate some sandwiches, then he went back to sleep."

"That's a good sign. It means the antibiotics are doing their job. How did he seem mentally?"

"Terrified." Hutch admitted a trace of sadness in his tone. "Confused…"

"That's to be expected." Doctor Ames reassured him. "Just keep in mind that he's still weak. As he gets stronger, you will probably see some more combative behavior…he may even become violent. Remember, he doesn't know you and he's basically afraid of being around other people. He's going to want to leave and return to familiar surroundings where he feels safe."

"I can't let him do that. I can't lose him again." Hutch said in a fiercely determined voice.

"I know, as long as you realize that you're not going to see results overnight. It's going to take some time."

"For him…I have all the time the world."

"Keep up the good work. I'll check back tomorrow to see how the two of you are doing. And make sure to take care of yourself too. You need to rest and eat as much as he does."

Hutch nodded and locked the door after the doctor left. He put off giving Starsky his pills as long as he could. Finally, he got a glass of water and carefully approached the sleeping figure on the bed. Sitting the glass and the pills down on the nightstand, he gently reached out to touch Starsky's shoulder to wake him.

Starsky's eyes immediately flew open and he pulled away from Hutch with a warning hiss as he threw up his hands to defend himself. He threw himself back against the headboard and looked at Hutch with wide, startled eyes.

"It's okay, babe…" Hutch said in a calm, soothing voice, holding his hands up to show that he meant no harm. "I just brought you a glass of water and the pills the doctor left to make you feel better." He paused to let Starsky process the information. "Can you take them for me? Then you can go back to sleep." He stepped back and let Starsky take the lead.

Starsky looked at the pills suspiciously. He picked up the glass of water and took a long drink but pointedly ignored the medication. Hutch sighed and decided to try something else.

"Okay, maybe later." He said as he scooped up the pills. He turned and walked into the bathroom out of Starsky sight. He had devised an alternative plan in case something like this happened. He picked up a container of chocolate pudding he had sat on the sink earlier and opened it. Next, he carefully crushed the pills and mixed them into the pudding. He knew the sweetness of the treat would cover up the taste of the pills. Smiling, he carried the pudding back out to Starsky. "Here ya go," he said as he sat the pudding down on the nightstand "I thought you might like a snack before you went to sleep."

He stepped back and watched to see what Starsky would do. He finished the glass of water and then picked up the pudding. He took a bite and then smiled as he began to devour the treat. Hutch hated tricking Starsky into taking the pills but he would do what he had to do to make sure that he got better.

Starsky had moved to the opposite side of the bed away from Hutch. He finished the pudding and then lay back down, pulling the covers over his head to hide his face. Hutch sighed as he decided to wait until Starsky was asleep before lying down to get some sleep himself. It had been a long, exhausting day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

The next two days passed slowly with the same pattern repeating itself. Starsky kept his distance from Hutch, refused to speak and watched every move the big blond made with suspicion. He finished the antibiotics but he still had a heavy cough as his body continued to expel the excess mucus from his overtaxed lungs. He was slowly regaining his strength and was even starting to gain some weight thanks to the delicious home cooked food that Gretchen continued to have delivered daily from the shelter.

But Hutch saw the way Starsky's eyes surveyed his surroundings, those sapphire eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he plotted his escape. Hutch knew that eventually there would be a confrontation when Starsky decided it was time for him to leave and return to the streets.

In an attempt to jog his memory, Hutch talked to Starsky almost constantly. He talked about the years of their friendship, some of their more memorable cases, and life in Bay City. Most of the time, Starsky appeared to be ignoring him and he continued to refuse to talk. The stress was starting to show on Hutch's face and in the dejected slump of his shoulders. There had been a time that he knew what Starsky was thinking but now he had no idea where the brunet's mind was. The wall between them seemed insurmountable.

When Starsky was sleeping, Hutch used the opportunity to call Huggy and talk to him. The black man was supportive and offered sage advice to keep Hutch going on his chosen path. Hutch needed a friend on his side who knew both men as intimately as Huggy Bear did. Gretchen and Doctor Ames had become good friends and a strong support system but they didn't know Starsky from before so they couldn't understand how lost Hutch felt trying to reclaim their previous relationship or how much he missed the sound of Starsky's voice. Huggy did understand and he knew just what to say to get Hutch focused on his ultimate goal. Hutch felt like he was on an emotional roller coaster that was about to jump the tracks.

Three days later, the confrontation that Hutch had been dreading finally happened. Starsky had gotten strong enough to get out of bed and move around the room. That morning, he had refused to eat the food Hutch offered him and retreated to the solitude of the bathroom. When he came out, he darted for the door and tried to open it becoming frustrated when he couldn't. When he realized it was locked, he began to scream almost hysterically as he began pounding on the door with his fists.

Alarmed and afraid that he would hurt himself unintentionally, Hutch stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Starsky from behind, pinning his arms to his sides. Starsky immediately began to fight Hutch, kicking and squirming to try and get away from him. In a loud, outraged voice, Starsky yelled "DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Hutch ignored him and pulled them both to the floor, holding Starsky tightly in his arms as the brunet continued to fight him. He winced as one of Starsky's elbows made contact with Hutch's ribs but he didn't let go. Finally, Starsky collapsed in exhaustion, leaning his head against Hutch's shoulder as he struggled to catch his breath.

Whimpering softly, Starsky began to mutter, "No, no, no…leave me alone…don't touch me…"

"Shhhh…its okay, buddy…it's just me. I'm not going to hurt you." Hutch said in a soft voice. He wasn't sure if his words were getting through to Starsky or not. The burnet was trembling with fear and ready to take flight again the minute Hutch released him. Hutch comforted himself by freeing one hand and carding his fingers through Starsky's tangled unruly curls.

He immediately realized his mistake when Starsky jerked out of his grasp and bounced to his feet, darting towards the closed window. By the time Hutch scrambled to his feet, Starsky had raised his fists and pounded against the window pane. The sound of shattering glass filled the air as Starsky's hands went through the broken glass. Hutch grabbed Starsky from behind again and pulled him away from the window into the relative safety of the bathroom.

He sat Starsky down on the closed toilet seat and said firmly,

"Let me see your hands. I need to see how badly you cut yourself."

Starsky hesitated and then held out his hands for Hutch to look out. There were some deep gashes across both palms and the knuckles on both hands were split open and bruised. He visibly trembled when Hutch took his hands to examine them closer but didn't pull away. Hutch took that as a step in the right direction. Starsky was starting to trust him.

"Don't move." Hutch said, waving a warning finger in Starsky's face as he opened the medicine cabinet and rummaged through it. He pulled out bandages, tape and antiseptic. Running some warm water in the sink, he wet a washrag and knelt down in front of Starsky to tend to his injuries. Looking up into his partner's eyes, he said "I'm going to wash those cuts and then I'm gonna to clean them up. I'm not going to lie to you. It's gonna hurt but you don't want those cuts getting infected."

"Okay…" Starsky whispered, his eyes filling with unshed tears. Hutch wasn't sure if they were tears of pain or of embarrassment. And as long as Starsky let him tend to his wounds without fighting him then he really didn't care.

He took Starsky's right hand and then his left, carefully cleaning each wound and making sure to remove a few tiny slivers of glass from the cuts. Starsky flinched and bit his bottom lip but didn't make a sound as Hutch administered first aide to his injuries. Hutch wrapped Starsky's hands in gauze and then put away the supplies.

Starsky was still sitting on the toilet, staring at the tile floor without speaking. Hutch knelt down in front of him and said, "All done. You wanna go lay down for a while?"

Starsky shook his head and looked up, his eyes filled with fear and confusion. In a faltering voice, he said, "I don't know you. I just wanna go home…"

"I know you do, buddy." Hutch said, choosing his words with care. "But this isn't home. Bay City is. And I want to take you back there with me as soon as you get better."

"I'm scared…" Starsky whimpered, his mouth trembling with his admission.

"I know you are…so am I." Hutch whispered as he pulled Starsky into an unresisting hug. He choked back a sob when he felt Starsky's arms awkwardly wrap around his waist, holding on tight. "Let's get you back to bed." Hutch said as he slowly rose to his feet, pulling a still unresisting Starsky to his feet with him.

Starsky let Hutch lead him back into the other room and over to the bed. He laid down and closed his eyes in exhaustion, drifting into a light sleep. Hutch lifted his eyes towards the ceiling and whispered "Thank you…" He knew that he had just witnessed a miracle. He knew that they still had a long way to go but they had taken the first critical step in the right direction.

He shifted his gaze to the man lying on the bed, a man who meant everything to him. A man that he would willing give his own life to protect. In a trembling voice that betrayed his overwhelming emotions, he said, "Welcome back, Starsky…welcome back."

Turning to the phone, he immediately called Huggy Bear to share his good news.

"That's great!" Huggy exclaimed, overjoyed at the news. "Does Curly know who you are?"

"No, not yet…but he's beginning to trust me and that's all that matters right now." Hutch said happily.

"How soon do you think you'll be coming home?"

"I don't know. That depends on Starsky. He still thinks that this is his home. I don't want to force him to do anything. He's still too scared and confused. Hell, he barely talks."

"A quiet Starsky?" Huggy said with a chuckle "Man, that is a switch." The tone of his voice turned serious. "You just do what you need to do to bring him home where he belongs. Everybody here is rooting for both of you."

"I'll keep you posted on how things are going." Hutch promised as he said his goodbyes and hung up.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

The next morning, Starsky was quiet and subdued. Hutch didn't push. He left the brunet alone with his thoughts. He knew that this situation was just as hard for Starsky as it was for him, even harder actually since Starsky had no memory of his past, only fleeting glimpses and scattered images that made no sense to him. Hutch believed that his extreme aversion to human contact came from the treatment he had received before he was shot combined with the terror that he had felt when he realized that he couldn't remember anything about his past. Instinctively, he had gone into hiding from a danger that he couldn't identify only feel in his heart.

Since the breakthrough the day before, Hutch sensed that a barrier between them had been torn down but that Starsky was still hesitant to trust Hutch completely. He accepted Hutch touching him but he still flinched unintentionally when Hutch approached him. Hutch noticed that Starsky was gently touching the scar on his forehead, tracing the white line back into his hairline.

"Starsk, do you remember what happened to you?" Hutch asked quietly.

"Hurt…" Starsky whispered in a hesitant tone, looking at Hutch for confirmation.

"Yeah, buddy…you were hurt. Somebody shot you."

"In the head?" Starsky questioned, his eyes widening in alarm.

"Yeah, in the head." Hutch decided to go into a little more detail about what had happened. "You were shot just above your left ear. It was a small caliber bullet and that's the only thing that saved your life. It caused a depressed skull fracture but it didn't penetrate the skull or you would have been killed instantly."

"Is that why I can't remember?"

"Partly. There was a lot of trauma and swelling. The doctors didn't expect you to survive. You were in a coma for a while."

"Will I ever be able to remember?" Starsky asked, his bottom lip trembling. Hutch instantly crossed the room to his partner's side and sat down on the bed beside him. He reached out and took his hands securely in his own.

"Of course you will." Hutch told him firmly. "The memories are still there somewhere and I'm going to do everything I can to help you get 'em out."

"Me and thee…huh?" Starsky said, surprising Hutch by using their familiar motto without any prompting.

"Yeah, that's right." Hutch told him with a pleased smile. "Me and thee." His voice cracked on the last word and he had to swallow the sudden lump that rose into his throat.

A knock on the door distracted them from their conversation. Starsky immediately stiffened and drew back against the headboard. He might be more comfortable with Hutch but dealing with outsiders was still an issue. Hutch laid a soothing hand on Starsky's leg and said, "Come in."

The door opened and Gretchen came in with a bag carrying their food for the day. She smiled warmly and said, "Well, it looks like things are looking up here."

"Getting there." Hutch said with a welcoming smile. "Gretchen, this is my partner, David Starsky. Starsk, this is a good friend, Gretchen Adams."

"Hello, David." Gretchen said, smiling warmly but keeping her distance. "It's so good to finally meet you."

"Gretchen is the one who left you the food and clothes in back of the shelter." Hutch told Starsky.

"Thank you." Starsky said shyly, lowering his head as he spoke and avoiding direct eye contact.

"She's also the one who's been bringing us all the good food we've been eating." Hutch added.

"Which I will sit right here." Gretchen said as she sat the bag down on the battered dresser facing the foot of the bed. "And say goodbye. I'm sure you both have a lot of catching up to do."

Starsky visibly relaxed when Gretchen left. To distract Starsky from his discomfort, Hutch said, "Let's see what Gretchen brought us. I'm starving."

He opened the bag and pulled out two breakfast burritos, two containers of orange juice, and two cups of coffee. Smiling, he presented Starsky with his share. Starsky immediately turned his attention to his food. At least he still seemed to have a healthy appetite which Hutch was pleased to see. He needed to regain some weight and to do that he needed to eat healthier than he had been. Granted, it was almost impossible to eat three square meals a day when you were living on the streets.

After they had finished eating, Hutch said,

"So, what would you like to do today?"

Starsky seemed to be considering the question then he looked at Hutch hopefully and said, "Go outside."  
"Sure, it that's what you want to do. Is there any place special you want to go?"

Starsky shook his head. "I just wanna feel the sun on my face."

"Starsky," Hutch asked wording his question carefully. "How long has it been since you've been outside in the daytime?"

"I don't know." Starsky admitted sadly "Long time…too many people."

"Are you sure that you're ready for it now?"

"As long as you're with me…" Starsky said shyly, once more displaying the uncanny depth of his trust in his partner.

"Then let's go." Hutch said with a smile. The two men left the room for the first time in almost two weeks and left the building. Starsky immediately moved closer to Hutch's side, his nervousness evident in the drawn lines around his eyes. Outside, the sun was shining brightly and the temperature was already in the mid-nineties. The sidewalks were already crowded with pedestrians hurrying to their individual destinations. Hutch instinctively reached out and took Starsky's arm to keep him from being overwhelmed by the unaccustomed activity going on around him.

The two friends strolled down the street, looking in store windows and talking casually. Starsky did fairly well for his first outing in daylight. He stayed close to Hutch and actually seemed to be enjoying himself until a car passing on the street backfired. Starsky immediately cried out and dropped to his knees, covering his ears with his hands and breathing heavily, almost hyperventilating. Hutch quickly reached down and took Starsky's arm, helping him to his feet. To avoid drawing unwanted attention to Starsky distress, Hutch hurried Starsky into a nearby diner.

They sat down in a booth in the back of the room, sitting side by side on the same side of the bench seats. Starsky was visibly shaking and upset. Leaning in close, Hutch said quietly, "Take it easy, babe…just take a deep breath and exhale slowly…" He demonstrated, pleased when Starsky willingly followed his example. When Starsky appeared to have calmed down, Hutch signaled the waitress and ordered two sodas. He knew that the sugar would help to counteract Starsky's adrenalin rush.

"Feeling better?" Hutch asked in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

"Feeling stupid." Starsky said with a ghost of a smile.

"It wasn't your fault. That backfire sounded like a gunshot. You had a flashback, didn't you?" Hutch probed gently.

"He shot me, Hutch." Starsky said in a trembling voice. "I could almost feel the gun pressing against the side of my head. I was so sure that I was going to die…and I was so scared…"

"It's okay, pal." Hutch said, slipping a comforting arm around Starsky's shoulders. "It'll get better. I promise." He knew that Starsky had just made another breakthrough. "I think that's enough for one day. How about if we go back to the room?"

Starsky nodded his agreement, hanging his head in embarrassment. Hutch knew that Starsky was trying as hard as he could and that there was bound to be some stumbling blocks along the way.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

That evening, Starsky awoke in the middle of the night, screaming from a nightmare. When Hutch finally got him calmed down, Starsky tearfully admitted that he had relived his abduction in his dreams. As Hutch held him close, soothing him gently, Starsky told Hutch what he had remembered.

"They grabbed me from my house. Surprised me when I came in the door." Starsky said, leaning close to Hutch for emotional support as he began to talk about what had happened. "I remember waking up in the trunk of a car with my hands tied behind my back and blindfolded. We seemed to drive forever. I kept drifting in and out. Where are we anyway?" Starsky asked, suddenly realizing that he had no idea where he even was.

"Arizona. Phoenix to be exact." Hutch told him

"Arizona?" Starsky exclaimed in a startled voice. "Shit, I don't even like Arizona."

Hutch chuckled at the comment and decided to give Starsky some more information. "You were actually taken to the Painted Desert just outside of Holbrook, Arizona. Some kids found you…probably just after you were shot."

"I just remember that we were out in the open somewhere and it was so hot." Starsky said "They wouldn't give me any water and I was so thirsty." He looked at Hutch, his eyes clouding with sadness. "That's all I remember." He said softly.

"That's enough for now. It's coming back to you…just give it some more time." Hutch said encouragingly. "Did they ever tell you why they were doing it?" That question had bothered Hutch from the beginning, ever since he found the note that McFarland had in his possession.

"I don't remember." Starsky said wearily. He fell silent and buried his face against Hutch's shoulder. He had faced enough of his demons for one night. They finally fell asleep in each others arms.

The next day, Hutch decided that he had a surprise of his own for the brunet. After a bit of coaxing, he convinced Starsky to venture outside with him again. Since it was earlier in the morning, the streets weren't quite as crowded and Starsky was more confident and sure of himself. Hutch guided Starsky to a parking lot just around the corner where he had parked the Torino. He stopped and waited to see if Starsky could spot the surprise on his own.

He heard Starsky's sharp intake of breath and then his delighted cry. "MY CAR!" he grabbed Hutch's arm excitedly. "IT'S MY CAR!" he exclaimed, a huge grin crossing his face and his eyes sparkling with joy. Hutch tagged along behind as Starsky danced across the lot to his pride and joy, running his hand lovingly over the highly shined surface. He looked at Hutch and said, "Can we go for a drive?"

"Sure," Hutch said, digging the keys out of his pocket to unlock the door. "Climb in."

Starsky climbed into the passenger's seat, as excited as a kid at the prospect of taking a ride in his car again. Hutch slid underneath the window, almost as excited as Starsky. He turned the key in the ignition and the engine rumbled to life. Hutch pulled out of the lot and headed through the busy downtown streets. He glanced at Starsky. The brunet had his head leaned back against the headrest with his eyes closed, a contented smile on his face. The old Starsky was finally on his way back.

They took a long, leisurely drive through the countryside, stopping to eat lunch at a tiny roadside diner where Starsky indulged in some of his favorite junk food. After talking casually about some of their friends in Bay City, Hutch suddenly realized that more of Starsky's memories had returned without either one of them even being aware of it. Hutch let Starsky drive part way back. The brunet was obviously nervous but handled the car with ease and his usual flair.

When they got back to the room, Starsky took a shower and then asked Hutch to cut his hair and beard. Hutch was only too happy to oblige. When he finished, Starsky's familiar clean shaven face smiled back at him. His hair was shorter then he normally wore it but Hutch didn't have much choice. The long curls had been so tangled and matted that he had to cut it fairly short to make it look right. Starsky went into the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror for several minutes, overjoyed with the results.

When he came back into the other room, he looked at Hutch and said, "When can we go home?"

"Maybe in a few days. You need to get some more rest first." Hutch told him cautiously. "And we really should say goodbye to Gretchen. I would never have found you without her help."

"Yeah. I guess you're right." Starsky agreed. "I just wanna go home…I've been gone a long time…"

"Yeah, I know and I can't tell you how good it is to have you back." Hutch said, his voice cracking with emotion.

The men relaxed for a few hours and then decided to go to the shelter. Gretchen was helping serve the evening meal when they arrived and had to look at Starsky twice before she recognized him due to his altered appearance. "Oh, my goodness!" she exclaimed. "I can't believe it! You look so different!" She gave Starsky a heartfelt hug which the brunet allowed without stiffening up. He even hugged her back, another positive step in the right direction. She stepped back and smiled warmly at Hutch. "You certainly have worked a miracle. So, what are you two doing here?"

"We're heading back to Bay City in a few days but we wanted to thank you for everything you've done for both of us before we leave." Hutch told her.

"That's wonderful…although I have to admit that I'll be sorry to see you two go."

"We would never have found each other if it hadn't been for you." Hutch said, giving her a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I'm just happy I could do it. God works in mysterious ways." She said with a shy smile. "The two of you were meant to be together and I was just his instrument to get that done. Why don't the two stay for supper? We're having meatloaf tonight."

"We'd like that." Hutch said with a warm smile.

They spent a pleasant evening visiting with Rachel and some of the other residents before heading back to the room they shared. As they settled in for the night, Starsky turned to Hutch and said,

"Thanks for finding me, Hutch and for taking me back home."

"Anytime, buddy. I'm just sorry that it took me so long to do it."

"Wasn't your fault. Wasn't nobody's fault. You're here now and that's all that natters." Starsky said as he closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep.

Hutch lay there staring into the darkness and thinking about the journey that had brought him and Starsky back together. It had been full of unexpected surprises and more then a few pitfalls but it had been worth it. Hutch had Starsky back and the hole in his heart had finally been filled. He could face tomorrow without feeling as if a part of him was dead. He was no longer an empty shell of a man without a purpose for living. He had his reason for living back and vowed that he would never let Starsky out of his sight again. He knew that Starsky still had a lot of recovering to do but Hutch planned on being there beside him every step of the way. The me and thee team was back and stronger than ever.

THE END

**A/N: Although this brings my story to an end, I am actually working on another version of this story. It is an extended version of the original story "Finally coming home" that Jan herself started but never finished. With her gracious permission, I am working on it now.**


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